Blind Faith

August is going to be a very busy month.

It’s been a bit of a busy time for me in general. I’ve been called to work at a few out of city events, events where people know I can get the job done, and not just believe that I can. The distinction is important to me because it means I can do the job as it was meant to be done, and not have to worry about the positioning and politics of how it may affect my future career. I’ve personally never been much of a resume-builder, and will even intentionally leave things off. But thanks to the ever present American-ness in my friends, including my best friend who probably hasn't ever actually seen the damn thing, it continues to build.

This is great because I don’t think I would otherwise be able to do side events due to my current work and life and financial instability. Well, that’s not completely true. Perhaps unstable wasn’t the correct word. Allow me to attempt to elaborate.

Personally, I’ve been looking to move out of the apartment I’ve been staying at since I decided I was going to stay in the city back in April. Most of you know how I feel about my happiness and sanity being more important than money. And in this case, my happiness is beginning to wane and my sanity definitely beginning to taper, and it continues to do so because San Francisco is one expensive ass city. I’ve already committed to the idea of spending over 2 weeks worth of pay on a one bedroom rental…except it seems that place doesn’t exist for that amount of money.

That’s how much I’m making right now. I can’t afford to live in the city. So I’m grateful for the fact that I have somewhere to live out of suitcases while taking my time to find a place of my own, because I’m not going to move out just for the sake of moving out. I’d like to find a place I can at least feel comfortable in – it will probably be no great home living – but any place I can call mine would be great.

I’ve even gone so far as to complete the First Time Homeowner’s Certification Program for Affordable Housing Units. Which means if I qualify, I could actually buy something that’s being sold under market rate specifically for us folk who don’t quite make enough. Except that the loan officer, despite my flawless financial history and glistening credit report, doesn’t think I’ll qualify because I currently don’t make even 80% of the average median income for San Francisco County. These city workers make themselves quite a yearly income, but because they live in the city, it’s considered just regular. Argh. Drives me crazy.

So I’m still going to attempt to complete the application process for this below market rate unit, so that at least I know the steps involved in the lottery and housing game when it comes down to it. The housing advisor says the steps will still be the same for regular units too, so if I know how to do all this paperwork-banking-housing-filling-out-loan-asking-qualifying nonsense now, I’ll understand it a bit more for later.

Did I mention that I’ve been looking to move out to Oakland? I love Oakland.

Business-wise, we’ve found a place in the city and are looking to sign a lease for it sometime in the kind-of-nearish future. It’s exciting, and scary in the sense that none of us are really getting paid all that great to begin with, and now a lot of that “extra” money is going to go towards making this restaurant happen. Even though we’re looking for investors, and have some already locked in, in the end, it’s still either our money we’re playing with or the added stressful responsibility of playing with other people’s money.

But I like to think I thrive under pressure. Especially when it comes to other people’s money. I think the idea of being responsible of turning some money into more money is an ability that not everyone has control of. Except that I’m too poor (or really, it’s probably more me being too cheap. I keep saying money’s just money, meant to be spent) to actually risk my own. Good thing then that there are people out there who trust me to make it happen, because nothing makes me happier than seeing something I believe in grow.

And I’m still cooking, the most important part. Last month I went out to LA to be part of the Hawai'i Visitors and Convention Bureau's culinary team, to represent Chefs Ed Kenney and Roy Yamaguchi (see pictures here). Here in SF, I’m actually creating food that people are beginning to recognize and enjoy, and the business as a company is definitely growing with me as a part of it. We’re beginning to find our niche, and although currently I’m nothing more than just an employee, I know it wouldn’t be the same if I left tomorrow. Things are finally beginning to feel right. So professionally, things I think are going well. A few people have noticed some of my food experiments on the tumblr account, like the Macaroni and (head)cheese dish that I documented for one of our pop-ups: http://haparamen.tumblr.com/tagged/experimenting. Later this month I’ll be teaching a pickles and kimchi class with Richie for http://www.urbankitchensf.org/

And the Street Food Festival is coming up soon too, the fairy tale start of how I met Hapa Ramen last August. So is the Eat Real Festival in Oakland, where we’ll be participating for the first time, plus I’ll be back as a festival coordinator/volunteer. And then a potential trip out to NYC to again help out with the International Chefs Congress -- but in a much greater capacity. So all of these little baby steps I took last year are beginning to turn into real legit footsteps now. I just have to keep knowing and hoping and believing that it…